Well, it's been over two weeks since my last update. Stress and lack of time have somehow managed to creep back into my days and make life hectic.
With that being said, we've barely cooked. What we have made (sandwiches, $0.60 macaroni, and hot dogs) aren't worth posting about. My husband and I are very fortunate to live 15 minutes from my mom and dad, AND my grandparents, who have literally fed us almost every day over the last week and a half.
I know we're supposed to enjoy every day as if it were our last, but over the last month (and probably for the next two weeks) I am in survival mode. Graduation is 19 days from today. NINETEEN. I may be the type of person who worries about everything, and though I usually welcome change, I am panicking.
I've been in a school setting for over 17 years. I've been a student, a daughter, a friend and recently a wife- in that order- for as long as I can remember. Now what am I supposed to do? Then you take into account that for the last two summers I've either been in summer school or planning a wedding and no longer have a clue as to what people do during the summer. Not that I'm complaining about that. In fact, I am EXTREMELY excited to rediscover how to enjoy a normal summer.
Now throw into the mix the fact my husband MAY have a job opportunity that could change our lives as we know it. We've seen each other almost every day for the last three years, and now we may not be seeing each other for more than 20 days out of the month?!? However, if everything works out (we've been saying lots of prayers!) this opportunity may allow us to pay off all of our student loans ($10,000 for him and an upwards of $60,000 for me) in just a FEW YEARS. We would have to sacrifice our time together; however, we have tried to see it as an opportunity to sacrifice now in order to not have to suffer later on in life. God has a plan and we have chosen to continue to trust His plans for our lives.
I read a blog post about graduating the other day and thought I would share the part that stuck with me:
"Above all else, I’m scared. I don’t know what this next journey will bring to me. Saying goodbye to happy hours, skipping class, and making the best worst decisions is one thing, but saying goodbye to ourselves is another. Azar Nafisi summed our almost post-college feelings perfectly: “You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. You’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”
My biggest challenge right now is giving my last speech tonight. I spent 7 hours yesterday writing it, a few hours this morning rehearsing, and have to give it tonight around 6:30. I somehow managed to make it from 8th grade to senior year in college without giving a speech. That should tell you how much I enjoy talking in front of other people. I've chosen to just try and enjoy the last few weeks of college. It's bittersweet and it's scary, but it's also very exciting.
AND in 20 days we'll be sitting on the beach, so there's always that to look forward to!
I am looking forward to having more time after graduation to focus on cooking and living a healthier lifestyle. This will probably be my last post until the end of May, but I'll be back with lots of delicious new recipes, I promise!
1 comment:
I remember having many of these same feelings when I was about to graduate. Like y'all, Syd had graduated in December and I finished in May. Our wedding was 5 weeks after graduation. While Syd had already started a professional job, I was up in the air.
God was faithful in everything. I had a couple of months before going to work in August. I had just the right job at just the right time. Even though times were sometimes really tough, we made it through. Looking back, the toughest times have been the sweetest.
Enjoy the moment and stage of life in which you find yourself. It';s a scary time, but unlike any other. I'm praying for you for the next weeks to be smooth ones.
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